Friday, March 05, 2010
Stepping out in style
With just over a week to go until the Silverstone Half Marathon and after the dismal conditions at the South London 10k, I decided it was time to invest in some new footwear.
There are a number of factors to consider when purchasing a pair of running shoes: price, comfort, look and the sheer ballache of finding them in a size 12.
After visiting two stores I had seen one semi-suitable pair.
Store #3 looked a shade more promising: I had a couple of contenders below the £30 mark. One pair seemed comfy, but looked absolutely ghastly with a sort of tin-foil and guano motif.
This angle doesn't show the mock
tortoiseshell effect on the heel
I popped them back on the shelves and went for something a bit plainer.
Sadly, the plain pair proved to be as comfy as a set of rat traps. Shuddering, I got the ghastly pair back off the shelf. They fit like gloves, so I parted with my cash.
I'm wearing them right now. They feel lovely but I think I can say without exaggeration that I've put my feet in better-looking dog turds.
There are a number of factors to consider when purchasing a pair of running shoes: price, comfort, look and the sheer ballache of finding them in a size 12.
After visiting two stores I had seen one semi-suitable pair.
Store #3 looked a shade more promising: I had a couple of contenders below the £30 mark. One pair seemed comfy, but looked absolutely ghastly with a sort of tin-foil and guano motif.
This angle doesn't show the mock
tortoiseshell effect on the heel
I popped them back on the shelves and went for something a bit plainer.
Sadly, the plain pair proved to be as comfy as a set of rat traps. Shuddering, I got the ghastly pair back off the shelf. They fit like gloves, so I parted with my cash.
I'm wearing them right now. They feel lovely but I think I can say without exaggeration that I've put my feet in better-looking dog turds.
Labels: SELF IMPROVEMENT, WEAPONRY
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Osaka basho, sans Dan
The Osaka sumo tournament came and went without Dan in attendance for the first time since 2003. So many happy memories of queueing for tickets, watching the palookas in the morning bouts, getting drunk, betting on east versus west, etc.
Thanks to youtube and the crappy video stream on the sumo association website, I was able to keep up with the tournament's progress: Hakuho strode to an unblemished 15-0 tournament victory, while Asashoryu, after, a very promising start, slumped in the second week and finished on 11-4.
Easily the best bout I saw was Harumafuji vs Kisenosato on the second day, both having lost on the first: Harumafuji got all mixed up after the tachiai and ended up with his 178-kg opponent behind him, pushing him towards the edge of the ring.
Unfortunately for Kisenosato, he had neglected to get hold of Harumafuji's belt; Harumafuji did what most normal human beings would do (and very few sumo wrestlers can do)- he span out of the way. Kisenosato suddenly found himself pushing at thin air and, unable to stop his own momentum, leapt rather gracelessly from the ring and into the lap of some lucky soul in the VIP seats.
I laughed and laughed, although I was a bit stumped as to how the judges were going to record the kimarite (winning technique): deftly pirouetting out of the way of an onrushing opponent, before watching him jump his fat ass into the front row doesn't correspond to any of the (admittedly few) kimarite I recognise.
I had a feeling that it ought to have been recorded as a hiwaza (a victory achieved without the victor doing much), as Kisenosato had jumped out of the ring entirely under his own steam. The judges, rather bafflingly, declared the bout to be Harumafuji's by virtue of hikiotoshi (described on the sumo association homepage as a hand pull down).
Well, whatever. Harumafuji marked on to a respectable 10-5 record and, on the very day he tossed Asashoryu out of the ring, I received the following in the post:
Harumafuji keitai cleaner!
Big thanks to the Man in the High Castle- hope you had a good time at the tournament without having to share a masu-seki with my malodorous socks.
Thanks to youtube and the crappy video stream on the sumo association website, I was able to keep up with the tournament's progress: Hakuho strode to an unblemished 15-0 tournament victory, while Asashoryu, after, a very promising start, slumped in the second week and finished on 11-4.
Easily the best bout I saw was Harumafuji vs Kisenosato on the second day, both having lost on the first: Harumafuji got all mixed up after the tachiai and ended up with his 178-kg opponent behind him, pushing him towards the edge of the ring.
Unfortunately for Kisenosato, he had neglected to get hold of Harumafuji's belt; Harumafuji did what most normal human beings would do (and very few sumo wrestlers can do)- he span out of the way. Kisenosato suddenly found himself pushing at thin air and, unable to stop his own momentum, leapt rather gracelessly from the ring and into the lap of some lucky soul in the VIP seats.
I laughed and laughed, although I was a bit stumped as to how the judges were going to record the kimarite (winning technique): deftly pirouetting out of the way of an onrushing opponent, before watching him jump his fat ass into the front row doesn't correspond to any of the (admittedly few) kimarite I recognise.
I had a feeling that it ought to have been recorded as a hiwaza (a victory achieved without the victor doing much), as Kisenosato had jumped out of the ring entirely under his own steam. The judges, rather bafflingly, declared the bout to be Harumafuji's by virtue of hikiotoshi (described on the sumo association homepage as a hand pull down).
Well, whatever. Harumafuji marked on to a respectable 10-5 record and, on the very day he tossed Asashoryu out of the ring, I received the following in the post:
Harumafuji keitai cleaner!
Big thanks to the Man in the High Castle- hope you had a good time at the tournament without having to share a masu-seki with my malodorous socks.
Labels: BUNKA, COMRADES, WEAPONRY
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Coda to the Skoda saga
BERLIN (Reuters Life!) - A German motorist missed a bend in the road, broke through a barrier and hurtled up a bank, crash-landing on a church roof in eastern Germany, police said on Monday.
The bank acted like a springboard, propelling the black Skoda about 35 meters (115 ft) forward and straight into the church's roof frame, where it remained wedged 7 meters off the ground, police said in a statement.
Reuters Oddly Enough
Perhaps the most remarkable thing about this story is that the car involved was a Skoda.
Famously, the humble Skoda has been the butt of such comedy classics as What do you call a Skoda with a sunroof? A skip. et cetera, but I think even the most die-hard Renault drivers would have to marvel at the brand's renaissance.
During the 80s, getting a Skoda through a church roof would have involved to reversing it out of a B52 or similar.
The bank acted like a springboard, propelling the black Skoda about 35 meters (115 ft) forward and straight into the church's roof frame, where it remained wedged 7 meters off the ground, police said in a statement.
Reuters Oddly Enough
Perhaps the most remarkable thing about this story is that the car involved was a Skoda.
Famously, the humble Skoda has been the butt of such comedy classics as What do you call a Skoda with a sunroof? A skip. et cetera, but I think even the most die-hard Renault drivers would have to marvel at the brand's renaissance.
During the 80s, getting a Skoda through a church roof would have involved to reversing it out of a B52 or similar.
Labels: DULLARDS, NEWS, WEAPONRY
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Deep Blue too
Four years ago, five thousand miles away, I built my own computer and dubbed it "Deep Blue." This endeavour was not without its annoyances, as you can see on the original post, son!
In leaving Japan, I had to abandon my trusty machine. I dumped the monitor and mouse on Eamonn who was making do with WWII surplus in that respect, pocketed the hard drive for a rainy day and said a fond farewell.
Getting home, the mum was all about getting me set up with a new computer.
MUM: Just choose any computer you want, and I'll pay for it.
DAN (dubiously): That's very generous, Mum...
MUM (nettled): Well, the money's no problem- I can get anything at the moment. I mean, even the cats have got new bowls.
She makes a persuasive case, if you're prepared to overlook the terrific disparity in expense between a computer and a couple of plastic bowls from Pet City. I am prepared to concede that the cats do seem very happy with their new bowls.
The point, I make, is this: while I'm very good with other people's computers, I do like to mess around with my own. Open it up, stick some stuff in, take some stuff out, break it, fix it, break it again, spend weeks on end ignoring it, then have a fit of energy and fix it again.
I don't think that my mum's money would be very well spent, in other words.
The mum has a moment of inspiration: she buys herself a new computer: a spanking new Toshiba laptop with Windows Vista and its own air freshener. I get her old laptop (Toshiba, Windows XP.)
Immediately, I determine that Deep Blue 2 will have the Fedora operating system, like its illustrious predecessor.
Advantages of Linux:
OS and software are either cheap or free.
More stable than Windows.
I'm a sucker for gimmicks, basically.
I send off for a Linux manual as fat as Bill Gates's bank book with Fedora installation DVDs thrown in.
They won't install, due to a flaw in the DVD.
I am left with a laptop-sized doorstop, having formatted the hard drive.
I download further installations of Fedora and various other Linux distributions, which simply tell me "no bootable disc present" when I try to boot from them.
Further booting techniques suggest themselves, not least booting the wretched machine into the middle of a busy junction and videoing the consequent mess.
Weeks pass. The mum is not exactly twitchy about letting me on her other computers, but she can't help dropping the occasional weighted comment, which is most unfair. I have, after all, come up with the answers to all of her technical difficulties to date, even when I had no idea what they were.
I speak to a friend, who advises me just to stick XP back on the wretched thing- even lends me a disc. "You'll need a product key- that's printed on a label on the bottom of your laptop."
I try it. Invalid product key states the computer.
I am through rage, out into the strangely calm space of uber-fury. I go back on the internet and try to track down some explanation. Windows service pack 1 product key won't work with SP2 disc.
Renouncing Windows for the nth time in my life, I go back to the "no bootable disc" problem I was experiencing with Linux.
A quick trawl across internet forums alerts me to the fact that, rather than copying downloaded files straight onto CDs, one has to unpack them onto the CDs. Instructions, that even an octogenarian could follow, follow.
I have a go.
Deep Blue 2 is now a laptop, no longer a doorstop. It's running on Ubuntu 8-point-something.
Meanwhile, the mum swears and tuts frequently at Windows Vista. My efforts are amply repaid.
In leaving Japan, I had to abandon my trusty machine. I dumped the monitor and mouse on Eamonn who was making do with WWII surplus in that respect, pocketed the hard drive for a rainy day and said a fond farewell.
Getting home, the mum was all about getting me set up with a new computer.
MUM: Just choose any computer you want, and I'll pay for it.
DAN (dubiously): That's very generous, Mum...
MUM (nettled): Well, the money's no problem- I can get anything at the moment. I mean, even the cats have got new bowls.
She makes a persuasive case, if you're prepared to overlook the terrific disparity in expense between a computer and a couple of plastic bowls from Pet City. I am prepared to concede that the cats do seem very happy with their new bowls.
The point, I make, is this: while I'm very good with other people's computers, I do like to mess around with my own. Open it up, stick some stuff in, take some stuff out, break it, fix it, break it again, spend weeks on end ignoring it, then have a fit of energy and fix it again.
I don't think that my mum's money would be very well spent, in other words.
The mum has a moment of inspiration: she buys herself a new computer: a spanking new Toshiba laptop with Windows Vista and its own air freshener. I get her old laptop (Toshiba, Windows XP.)
Immediately, I determine that Deep Blue 2 will have the Fedora operating system, like its illustrious predecessor.
Advantages of Linux:
I'm a sucker for gimmicks, basically.
I send off for a Linux manual as fat as Bill Gates's bank book with Fedora installation DVDs thrown in.
They won't install, due to a flaw in the DVD.
I am left with a laptop-sized doorstop, having formatted the hard drive.
I download further installations of Fedora and various other Linux distributions, which simply tell me "no bootable disc present" when I try to boot from them.
Further booting techniques suggest themselves, not least booting the wretched machine into the middle of a busy junction and videoing the consequent mess.
Weeks pass. The mum is not exactly twitchy about letting me on her other computers, but she can't help dropping the occasional weighted comment, which is most unfair. I have, after all, come up with the answers to all of her technical difficulties to date, even when I had no idea what they were.
I speak to a friend, who advises me just to stick XP back on the wretched thing- even lends me a disc. "You'll need a product key- that's printed on a label on the bottom of your laptop."
I try it. Invalid product key states the computer.
I am through rage, out into the strangely calm space of uber-fury. I go back on the internet and try to track down some explanation. Windows service pack 1 product key won't work with SP2 disc.
Renouncing Windows for the nth time in my life, I go back to the "no bootable disc" problem I was experiencing with Linux.
A quick trawl across internet forums alerts me to the fact that, rather than copying downloaded files straight onto CDs, one has to unpack them onto the CDs. Instructions, that even an octogenarian could follow, follow.
I have a go.
Deep Blue 2 is now a laptop, no longer a doorstop. It's running on Ubuntu 8-point-something.
Meanwhile, the mum swears and tuts frequently at Windows Vista. My efforts are amply repaid.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Where's yours?
Having endured the indignity of a pre-payday trip to Kobe with a pencil case full of 50 yen pieces, I was in the mood to treat myself when the deluge of dollar came splashing over the barren desert of my bank balance on the 15th. Accordingly, I went out and bought this:
(Image courtesy of somebody else's page)
It's a portable DVD player and I'm using it to annoy other commuters on the Keihan line and lower the tone of the teacher's room at school. I also tried to write my name on it with a board marker the other day, but it wiped straight off, leaving a nasty grey residue. I might decorate it with some stickers instead, if I can find something suitably offensive.
In the meantime, I have this handy new media device but not a great deal of media. If anyone wants to send me DVDs, AVI files or anything, I'd be awfully grateful.
(Image courtesy of somebody else's page)
It's a portable DVD player and I'm using it to annoy other commuters on the Keihan line and lower the tone of the teacher's room at school. I also tried to write my name on it with a board marker the other day, but it wiped straight off, leaving a nasty grey residue. I might decorate it with some stickers instead, if I can find something suitably offensive.
In the meantime, I have this handy new media device but not a great deal of media. If anyone wants to send me DVDs, AVI files or anything, I'd be awfully grateful.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Kasparov's revenge
It began, as so many things do, with an ending...
I am fortunate enough to have two computer enthusiasts as my flatmates. In fact, "enthusiasts" may be something of an understatement, but I digress.
Anyway, a little while back, Mike's computer was being upgraded/revamped/whatever and, thanks to a cruel whim of fate, the motherboard and CPU got well and truly broken. Therefore, the intrepid duo got in a bunch of new parts and built pretty much a new system, leaving a few spare parts from Mike's old machine. I then hit upon the infallible plan of "appropriating" said spare parts, buying a few new bits and pieces and BUILDING MY OWN COMPUTER, according to my own unique specifications, by which, of course, I mean my meagre budget.
Brian, an MIT graduate and quite the computer whizz, kindly offered to help me. It wasn't what you'd call plain sailing, though. Here are some of the problems Brian and I encountered.
1- Got home from Denden town electronics district with a host of goodies, stripped out Mike's old case, then discovered that the new motherf- I mean, motherboard- wouldn't fit inside the case, thus necessitating another trip out into the typhoon-stricken streets of Osaka to buy a new case. This displeased me.
2- Put everything into beautiful new case and turned the machine on, only to be greeted with the sort of inertia that I usually see staring back at me across a classroom desk when I've asked a particularly cryptic question, such as: "how are you today?" This displeased me even further.
3- Waddled back into Denden town with increasingly unpopular computer under my arm to have it tested by the store staff where I'd purchased the motherboard and graphics card. After extensive testing, the store staff kindly explained to me (in Japanese) that, by smearing thermal-conductive grease all over the wrong parts of our new CPU, Brian and I had, in fact, damaged it beyond repair. I was delighted with the Japanese practice, but not exactly overjoyed with the result, as you may imagine.
4- After this debacle, I decided to dump the majority of the computer in a luggage locker at the nearest subway station, then take the (hastily polished) CPU back to the shop from whence it came and claim that they'd sold me a defective part. When I got to the subway station, I didn't have change for the locker and the geezer in the nearest shop said that I would have to make a purchase if I wanted change. As this was a medicine shop and I was in the rudest of good health, bar my frayed temper, I was, once more, not pleased.
5- After 30 seconds of me sarcastically playing "eeny meeny" along the shelves as I deliberated about what to buy, the shop geezer relented and gave me the change I required, no purchase necessary, please don't ever come into my shop again. I was, for once, pleased.
6- Furthermore, the computer shop staff uncomplainingly replaced the defunct CPU with a new one. YES, two in a row! My troubles were finally nearing an end.
7- ...Or so I thought. We now had the dubious pleasure of installing an operating system. As may be seen from the below screenshot, I eschewed the option of Microsoft Crappy Windows For Jerks.
This decision led to hours of fun as Brian worked tirelessly, installing various different versions of Linux, swearing at them, trying to make them work, then giving them up as a bad lot and trying something else instead.
Although I consider myself fairly computer-literate, I must confess that I was a complete bystander during this arduous process. I merely gave moral support and asked what I hoped were pertinent questions from time to time, in a vain attempt not to appear a complete dunce.
DAN So, where are we now?
BRIAN Well, I've got rid of the problem with your mouse.
DAN But we don't have any graphics, so we can't get the desktop to work, right?
BRIAN (cheerfully) Right!
I seem to have had this conversation, or myriad variations thereof, quite often over the past few days.
Finally, yesterday, an apparently working version of Linux emerged and my computer is now operational, 8 days and several thousand obscenities after I began building the wretched thing.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce Deep Blue!
My first concern is to kick its butt at chess, although this will mean downloading an absurdly easy chess simulator. I love chess, but, as far as playing it goes, I stink out loud.
Spotter's badge for the title of this post, by the way.
I am fortunate enough to have two computer enthusiasts as my flatmates. In fact, "enthusiasts" may be something of an understatement, but I digress.
Anyway, a little while back, Mike's computer was being upgraded/revamped/whatever and, thanks to a cruel whim of fate, the motherboard and CPU got well and truly broken. Therefore, the intrepid duo got in a bunch of new parts and built pretty much a new system, leaving a few spare parts from Mike's old machine. I then hit upon the infallible plan of "appropriating" said spare parts, buying a few new bits and pieces and BUILDING MY OWN COMPUTER, according to my own unique specifications, by which, of course, I mean my meagre budget.
Brian, an MIT graduate and quite the computer whizz, kindly offered to help me. It wasn't what you'd call plain sailing, though. Here are some of the problems Brian and I encountered.
1- Got home from Denden town electronics district with a host of goodies, stripped out Mike's old case, then discovered that the new motherf- I mean, motherboard- wouldn't fit inside the case, thus necessitating another trip out into the typhoon-stricken streets of Osaka to buy a new case. This displeased me.
2- Put everything into beautiful new case and turned the machine on, only to be greeted with the sort of inertia that I usually see staring back at me across a classroom desk when I've asked a particularly cryptic question, such as: "how are you today?" This displeased me even further.
3- Waddled back into Denden town with increasingly unpopular computer under my arm to have it tested by the store staff where I'd purchased the motherboard and graphics card. After extensive testing, the store staff kindly explained to me (in Japanese) that, by smearing thermal-conductive grease all over the wrong parts of our new CPU, Brian and I had, in fact, damaged it beyond repair. I was delighted with the Japanese practice, but not exactly overjoyed with the result, as you may imagine.
4- After this debacle, I decided to dump the majority of the computer in a luggage locker at the nearest subway station, then take the (hastily polished) CPU back to the shop from whence it came and claim that they'd sold me a defective part. When I got to the subway station, I didn't have change for the locker and the geezer in the nearest shop said that I would have to make a purchase if I wanted change. As this was a medicine shop and I was in the rudest of good health, bar my frayed temper, I was, once more, not pleased.
5- After 30 seconds of me sarcastically playing "eeny meeny" along the shelves as I deliberated about what to buy, the shop geezer relented and gave me the change I required, no purchase necessary, please don't ever come into my shop again. I was, for once, pleased.
6- Furthermore, the computer shop staff uncomplainingly replaced the defunct CPU with a new one. YES, two in a row! My troubles were finally nearing an end.
7- ...Or so I thought. We now had the dubious pleasure of installing an operating system. As may be seen from the below screenshot, I eschewed the option of Microsoft Crappy Windows For Jerks.
This decision led to hours of fun as Brian worked tirelessly, installing various different versions of Linux, swearing at them, trying to make them work, then giving them up as a bad lot and trying something else instead.
Although I consider myself fairly computer-literate, I must confess that I was a complete bystander during this arduous process. I merely gave moral support and asked what I hoped were pertinent questions from time to time, in a vain attempt not to appear a complete dunce.
DAN So, where are we now?
BRIAN Well, I've got rid of the problem with your mouse.
DAN But we don't have any graphics, so we can't get the desktop to work, right?
BRIAN (cheerfully) Right!
I seem to have had this conversation, or myriad variations thereof, quite often over the past few days.
Finally, yesterday, an apparently working version of Linux emerged and my computer is now operational, 8 days and several thousand obscenities after I began building the wretched thing.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce Deep Blue!
My first concern is to kick its butt at chess, although this will mean downloading an absurdly easy chess simulator. I love chess, but, as far as playing it goes, I stink out loud.
Spotter's badge for the title of this post, by the way.
Labels: WEAPONRY
