Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Making unwarranted accusations of racism against my flatmate

"Why is it always about colour with you, Sam Green?"


As usual, you probably needed to be there.

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Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Merrie In-ger-lund

We were at a St George's Day-themed beer festival, the term 'beer' rather giving the lie to the fact that there was no beer available and the term 'festival' rather giving the lie to the fact that there was no beer available.

St George was there though: a nice enough gent in knight of yore costume, with ubiquitous cross motif and a dragon mascot in tow.

Over he came, to entertain the kids - my nieces to be exact. Both of them shrank away from him however. St George looked rather glum.

"Sorry mate," the sister told him. "It's because the last guy dressed like you fire bombed our neighbours' house."


Ok, but that's definitely what she should have said.

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Tuesday, May 04, 2010


Quote of the day

"If you expose your opponent's weaknesses enough, eventually those weaknesses will be exposed."

- Big Sam Allardyce


Arsene Wenger may be even more angry about losing to Blackburn after Sam Allardyce's masterly exposition on the finer tactical points of the game. It's like being outwitted by a meringue.

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Monday, May 03, 2010


General election 2010

My thoughts on the forthcoming election.

1. I might have considered voting Lib Dem, but I can't stand Nick Clegg. He's a jumped-up little bastard who reminds me horribly of Tony Blair. He wouldn't take us into any wars, but he might take us into the Euro. Yes, we missed that boat but it did turn out to be the Titanic.

2. The Tories have finally stopped smearing Gordon Brown in their election posters, reasoning that no matter what they do to him, it wouldn't be as bad as what he does to himself (Gordon Brown calls Labour supporter a 'bigoted woman'). Unfortunately, their new tactic is putting David Cameron on their posters, giving "Let's..." suggestions, much in the manner of the twat in the pub.

I'm waiting for the moment when he shows his true colours with

Let's bring back the death penalty


Let's dynamite the Channel Tunnel

3. Gordon Brown has about as much talent for politics as I have for breathing underwater.


Saturday, May 01, 2010


Bigotgate / Downfall


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