Trashed elbow

I've been giving a little thought recently to how the habitual three-hour trudge-fest that is Hamlet might be improved for audiences at the RSC. I'll be sure to mail this in to them just as soon as my medication wears off.



ACT V, SCENE II (Hamlet having just accepted the fencing match with Laertes)

HORATIO
You will lose this wager, my lord.

HAMLET
I do not think so: since he went into France, I
have been in continual practise: I shall win at the
odds. But thou wouldst not think how ill all's here
about my heart: but it is no matter.

HORATIO
Nay, good my lord,--

HAMLET
It is but foolery; but it is such a kind of
gain-giving, as would perhaps trouble a woman.

HORATIO
If your mind dislike any thing, obey it: I will
forestall their repair hither, and say you are not
fit.

HAMLET
Not a whit, we defy augury: there's a special
providence in the fall of a sparrow.

A dead sparrow drops on the stage with a note round its neck, saying THE SWORD'S POISONED. After a brief pause, a second one arrives with a note saying AND SO'S THE WINE

***


Critical acclaim for Dan's proposed amendment to Hamlet:

"It would be nice to see some intelligent people getting involved in the theatre, rather than just people who failed all their GCSEs and decided to take up acting."

Joseph McKeown, BA Acting

Labels: BUNKA, WORDS