Trashed elbow

Lord be praised, Paula Radcliffe, erstwhile object of unworthy satire on these pages, has won the marathon gold at the World championships in Helsinki.


^{"Eat my dust, Ndereba!"}

Paula, very popular internationally, as well as having assumed Princess Di-like status in Britain, is the world record holder, an outspoken critic of abortion, and mistakenly believed to be "very beautiful" by at least one of my students.

After Paula's traumatic experience in the Olympic games and after finishing a lowly ninth in the 10,000 metres earlier in the championships, this barnstorming performance has earned her a place in Dan's entirely impartial list of the most hardcore athletic victories of all time.

Top 5

1. Daniel McKeown, 1500 metres (Year 9)
Alderman Callow School sports day, 1992

2. Colin Jackson, Men's 110 metres hurdles (World Record, son!)
World Championships, 1993

3. Linford Christie, Men's 100 metres
World Championships, 1993

4. Noguchi Mizuki, Marathon for girls
Olympic Games, 2004

5. Paula Radcliffe, Marathon for girls
World Championships, 2005

The greatest hardcore athlete of all time is Ethiopia's Haille Gebrselassie. If I hadn't taken him off my list for being unrealistically good at running, he'd probably be in possession of places 1-10. That guy was the shit.

Edit: After reading this superbly-written article again, I realise that the word "abortion" should actually read "performance-enhancing drugs."

Labels: NEWS