Monday, August 15, 2005


Britain's golden girl

Lord be praised, Paula Radcliffe, erstwhile object of unworthy satire on these pages, has won the marathon gold at the World championships in Helsinki.

image nicked from the BBC site
"Eat my dust, Ndereba!"

Paula, very popular internationally, as well as having assumed Princess Di-like status in Britain, is the world record holder, an outspoken critic of abortion, and mistakenly believed to be "very beautiful" by at least one of my students.

After Paula's traumatic experience in the Olympic games and after finishing a lowly ninth in the 10,000 metres earlier in the championships, this barnstorming performance has earned her a place in Dan's entirely impartial list of the most hardcore athletic victories of all time.

Top 5

1. Daniel McKeown, 1500 metres (Year 9)
Alderman Callow School sports day, 1992

2. Colin Jackson, Men's 110 metres hurdles (World Record, son!)
World Championships, 1993

3. Linford Christie, Men's 100 metres
World Championships, 1993

4. Noguchi Mizuki, Marathon for girls
Olympic Games, 2004

5. Paula Radcliffe, Marathon for girls
World Championships, 2005

The greatest hardcore athlete of all time is Ethiopia's Haille Gebrselassie. If I hadn't taken him off my list for being unrealistically good at running, he'd probably be in possession of places 1-10. That guy was the shit.

Edit: After reading this superbly-written article again, I realise that the word "abortion" should actually read "performance-enhancing drugs."


I'm shocked and surprised and other suich words at the ommitance of my "against all odds" wunder goal scored at spencer park in a games lesson. Although not actually athletics, I could have had an honerable mention.


Not for your spelling of the word "honourable," you couldn't. Or several other words for that matter.

What happened in that football match you told me you were shortlisted for? Has that happened yet?
Yes, I won man of the match...... for commitment! No skill there then.

We lost. I was shit.

And don't take the piss out of my spelling. I'm an idiot don't you know, it's not my fault.

Of course it's your fault- for being disabled in a previous life.

-Glenn Hoddle- "Total prat"
Hodder & Stoughton, £15.99

Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Listed on BlogShares