Saturday, August 13, 2011


Attack of the vespas

"These wasps are pretty big," I mused. "And they've got all-yellow faces."

"Like hornets, you mean?" This latter was Dave's voice from downstairs.

"That's pretty much what I was thinking."

While my place is a bit of a dump (each time it rains, for example, I end up with more floor and less ceiling) I think the presence of freakishly large pseudo-wasps in the kitchen may represent a new low.

I flapped at the two invaders with a towel, succeeding only in making them angry. Going to a hastily improvised back-up strategy, I made a smart departure taking care to close the kitchen door behind me.

In the downstairs room, while Dave jumped in the shower, I collected my thoughts and my breath.

Then, bzzzzzzzz.

Once I had my heart rate back to below 270 bpm, I answered my phone, which had been set to vibrate, and told Bailey that he'd just frightened me out of my skin. He laughed. Dave and I headed out to meet him for drinks and, when we returned, there was no sign of the yellow-and-dangerous in the kitchen.

Some research this morning informs me that hornets are more docile than regular wasps. They're also supposed to be woodland creatures, although a glance at my garden explains how they might have got confused.

If the hornets have set up shop in my garden (and, please God, not my roofspace) it may turn out well. They're meant to be quite good for controlling garden pests which in my case includes a burgeoning colony of gutter pigeons and the occasional trespasser.


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