Monday, July 04, 2011
Variety is...
Announcer: You're entering a realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic, or contains some kind of monster... The second one. Prepare to enter the Scary Door.
Scene: An elderly man wearing a green visor exits 3-Eyed Jack's Casino.
Announcer: Please send the man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith. A professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.
While crossing the street, Clyde is hit by a car.
He wakes up in front of a slot machine. He pulls the lever and it comes up with three Bars.
Clyde: A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me; I must be in heaven!
He pulls the lever again, three Bars come up again.
Clyde: A casino where I always win? That's boring. I must really be... In hell!
Enter man.
Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith, you're not in heaven or hell. You're on an airplane!
Man opens curtain, revealing airplane windows. Clyde looks out the window and sees a gremlin on the wing, tearing out the wiring.
Clyde: There's a gremlin destroying the plane! You've gotta believe me!
Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!
Man holds up a mirror, revealing that Clyde's reflection is that of Adolf Hitler.
Clyde: No!
Clyde is transformed into Hitler. He turns to the person next to him.
Clyde: Eva Braun, help me!
Eva Braun pulls off her face to reveal that she's actually a giant fly. Clyde screams.
Cut to Bender, watching this on TV
Bender: (Unimpressed) Saw it coming.
From Futurama: I dated a Robot
pillaged primarily from http://theinfosphere.org/The_Scary_Door
***
Once upon a time, 'Old Spice' was also an uncharitable epithet for Geri Halliwell.
