Monday, July 04, 2011


Variety is...

Announcer: You're entering a realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic, or contains some kind of monster... The second one. Prepare to enter the Scary Door.

Scene: An elderly man wearing a green visor exits 3-Eyed Jack's Casino.

Please send the man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith. A professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.

While crossing the street, Clyde is hit by a car.
He wakes up in front of a slot machine. He pulls the lever and it comes up with three Bars.

Clyde: A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me; I must be in heaven!

He pulls the lever again, three Bars come up again.

Clyde: A casino where I always win? That's boring. I must really be... In hell!

Enter man.

Sebastian Cabot:
No, Mr. Smith, you're not in heaven or hell. You're on an airplane!

Man opens curtain, revealing airplane windows. Clyde looks out the window and sees a gremlin on the wing, tearing out the wiring.

Clyde: There's a gremlin destroying the plane! You've gotta believe me!

Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!

Man holds up a mirror, revealing that Clyde's reflection is that of Adolf Hitler.

Clyde: No!

Clyde is transformed into Hitler. He turns to the person next to him.

Eva Braun, help me!

Eva Braun pulls off her face to reveal that she's actually a giant fly. Clyde screams.
Cut to Bender, watching this on TV

Bender: (Unimpressed) Saw it coming.

From Futurama: I dated a Robot
pillaged primarily from


Once upon a time, 'Old Spice' was also an uncharitable epithet for Geri Halliwell.

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