Wednesday, April 08, 2009



With bugger all else to do with my time other than sit around dividing my giro by fourteen in my head and playing Joe at Scrabble, I decided to pay a visit to the Education Show at the NEC in Birmingham.

My aims:

1. Find new career and life direction.

2. Mump a few bags of stationery and other freebies.

When I arrived at the NEC, there were all sorts of education types pushing round granny trolleys, having either stocked up on cutting-edge textbooks, CD ROMs and whatever else for their youthful charges at the various exhibiting stands, or (more probably) having mumped more stationery than you can shake a stick at.

Dishearteningly, there was one of those enter-your-details-print-off-a-badge arrangements at the gate. Sod, I thought; I don't think I can handle the stigma of going round with a badge that says I'm unemployed, a word I usually associate with suspected arsonists in the Mainichi:

Fragment of the Mainichi

Let's see what I can come up with.


Your starter for ten...

Daniel McKeown


Bugger. Er...



Series of check boxes. There's one marked Other. Home and dry.

Not quite- a box flashes open.

Please specify

Son of a-- this is a witch hunt.

I type in None of the above. The system gives up on questions and prints me out a badge that reads "Daniel McKeown - Charming." I skulk into the show, horizons and pockets wide open.


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