Friday, September 05, 2008


Getting ahead in computing

A.B. Computers, a very compact computer hardware shop in Coventry's precinct. Young Saturday worker (herefter YSW) behind the counter. In walks M.I.B. (my idiot brother.)

MIB: Excuse me...

YSW: Can I help you?

MIB: Yeah, I was just wondering: what does the "A. B." in A. B. Computers stand for?

YSW: Er, I couldn't really say...

MIB (suddenly hostile): Yeah, right! You think it's easy, don't you? Just tag on some bullshit initials so your shop gets first place in the phonebook!

YSW: ...

MIB: Well, I've got news for you: I'm opening my own computer place down the road. And it's gonna be called A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A....

(pauses, takes a deep breath, continues)

A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. B. A. A. Computers! So go fuck yourself!

(Sweeps an armful of computer equipment of the shelf, onto the floor and leaves.)

YSW: ...


For once, I wasn't able to persuade Joe to go through with it. If I had, it would have been pretty similar to the above.


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