Wednesday, August 20, 2008


Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin

Although the above title refers to the resurgence of my beard, I reprimand myself for the writing: "chin chin" does, after all, mean "penis" in Japanese, making the raising of glasses a hilarious business to all those whom Mother Nature saw fit to deprive of a real sense of humour.

Ah, sexual innuendo: for those who trot out the trite "sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" in the absence of anything better to say, I submit the following:

Dan's official list of the lowest forms of wit

1. Racist "humour" (this includes "casual" racism, which is the same as racist humour, but used by better-educated people, so can't possibly be considered true racism, what?)

2. Sexual innuendo

3. Saying "sarcasm is the lowest form of wit."

4. Puns

5. Violence


I digress. The beard is back, lending me a certain outdoors-ish distinction. My Tuesday night workmates were astounded by the hairy-faced Hercules who strode through the door yesterday.

"Wow, Dan- did something happen?"

And, later:

"Seriously, did something happen?"

I told them my apartment had been burgled, milked the coos of horror and sympathy, then explained that the miscreants had taken my razor.

This wasn't the lowest form of wit, but you could have been forgiven for thinking it was at the time.


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