Thursday, July 31, 2008

 

Fly like a piano

William is a French teacher at my school. He speaks pretty good English, although not without a touch of the gallic:

"Wuaaah! Look at zat!"

I wander over to have a look. A gigantic cockroach is in the middle of the floor in plain view. Perhaps unaware that it has been discovered, it doesn't make the trademark lightning dash for safety. I take William's lunch bag (taking care to remove the lunch first) and use it as a glove as I grab our unwelcome visitor. We discuss the possibility of giving him a swimming lesson in the toilet, but decide to release him back into the wild. I take him out onto the fire escape and release him with a cry of "fly my beauty!"

He flies like a piano, fully ten floors down to land almost audibly atop a white truck, where he lies motionless. The truck drives off. My day is just beginning.

***


Snippet from wikipedagogue:
In September 2006, amusement park Six Flags Great America announced it would be granting unlimited line-jumping privileges for all rides to anyone who could eat a live Madagascar hissing cockroach as part of a Halloween-themed FrightFest. Furthermore, if a contestant managed to beat the previous world record (eating 36 cockroaches in 1 minute), he would receive season passes for four people during the 2007 season. This is a difficult record to break because raw cockroaches contain a mild neurotoxin that numbs the mouth and makes it difficult to swallow. The promotion began on October 7, 2006, and ended on October 29, 2006.

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