Monday, April 07, 2008


Cubicle 55

At one point early on yesterday, while the VMM was still sober enough to talk, he posited the theory that Japan's convenience is costing us smarts. I agreed, giving the example of how he'd woken up the previous evening in Yodo, and had to make it home via taxi. My blag went along the lines of: anyone who falls asleep on the last train and overshoots their stop should be waking up next to a river with their throat cut. Or similar. It goes against everything Darwin was talking about, I said.

Then I got very drunk, fell asleep on the last train and woke up in Yodo. So much for Darwin.

And so, the day after I posted my toussle-haired sibling back to blighty, I celebrated the return to normality by waking up in an internet cafe, wearing an AFC Bournmouth football shirt.

There is no door on the cubicle. A reassuring sign in Japanese with the Mitsubishi logo at the top tells me that the place is rigged to the hilt with security cameras, so there's peace of mind for you, or would be had I not arrived on a purloined steed.

And I get the feeling that, a few years hence, I won't just be spending the night in one of these places: I'll be conducting my existence out of one. Further responsibility removed from the individual and we'll all be kept safe from ourselves. Man in a box, you can't fight city hall, etc.

And now I think I'll help myself to some of the free CC Lemon. It's got chemicals in it that make you docile and impotent, don't you know. I've learnt to love Big Brother.


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