Tuesday, May 15, 2007

 

1499, year of the Jaguar

Out of cash, Johnny or otherwise, with the mosquitoes in the net cafe keen for a bite of the action? You done landed in the 1400s Marty McFly.

(This one's dedicated to VMM.)


Jaguar vs Anaconda- real thing, not one of those dog-shite CGI simulations.



"Life is hard/ and so am I./ You'd better give me something/ so I don't die."



Not bad for a chibi.



It all began when they took me from my home
And put me on Death Row,
A crime for which I am totally innocent, you know.

I began to warm and chill
To objects and their fields,
A ragged cup, a twisted mop
The face of Jesus in my soup
Those sinister dinner deals
The meal trolley's wicked wheels
A hooked bone rising from my food
And all things either good or ungood.

And the mercy seat is waiting
And I think my head is burning
And in a way I'm yearning
To be done with all this weighing of the truth.
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth
And anyway I told the truth
And I'm not afraid to die.

I hear stories from the chamber
Christ was born into a manger
And like some ragged stranger
He died upon the cross
Might I say it seems so fitting in its way
He was a carpenter by trade
Or at least that's what I'm told

My kill hand's tatooed E.V.I.L.
Across it's brother's fist
That filthy five!
They did nothing to challenge or resist.

In Heaven His throne is made of gold
The ark of his Testament is stowed
A throne from which I'm told
All history does unfold.
It's made of wood and wire
And my body is on fire
And God is never far away.

Into the mercy seat I climb
My head is shaved, my head is wired
And like a moth that tries
To enter the bright eye
I go shuffling out of life
Just to hide in death awhile
And anyway I never lied.

And the mercy seat is waiting
And I think my head is burning
And in a way I'm yearning
To be done with all this weighing of the truth.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth
And anyway I told the truth
And I'm not afraid to die.

And the mercy seat is burning
And I think my head is glowing
And in a way I'm hoping
To be done with all this twisting of the truth.
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth
And anyway there was no proof
And I'm not afraid to die.

And the mercy seat is glowing
And I think my head is smoking
And in a way I'm hoping
To be done with all these looks of disbelief.
A life for a life and a truth for a truth
And I've got nothing left to lose
And I'm not afraid to die.

And the mercy seat is smoking
And I think my head is melting
And in a way that's helping
To be done with all this twisting of the truth.
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth
And anyway I told the truth
But I'm afraid I told a lie.

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Comments:
That narration is priceless. "His blood is up, and he means business." Yup, nothing I enjoy more than some good, old fashioned cheetah footage. And did my eyes deceive me or was that a cobra?

As for Mr. Cash, um, should we consider this a cry for help?
 
A cry for help on behalf on whose behalf?

I don't need help- I lived through the 1400s.
 
Dude, where did the multiple camera angles come from on the jaguar video? I find it difficult to believe that there were multiple cameramen willing to sacrifice their lives in the Amazon for footage of really freaking dangerous critter A fighing really freaking dangerous critter B. Or, for that matter, that one cameraman would run around a big cat whose "blood is up". I think this was staged, like Disney's infamous lemming incident. Entertaining, though. I've watched it 7 times.
 
I meant to say fighting, not "fighing". It's midnight and I'm about neck deep in Bushmills.
 
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