Tuesday, October 31, 2006
God forgive me, for I have fibbed
My Monday morning routine does not generally include going to the gym. No matter how much I pay per calendar month for my membership, I play football Sunday evenings, so Monday morning means dog tired.
HOWEVER, this week is a special occasion; because I didn't pay the water bill for the last quarter, I have no hot water. I wake up at 8am, smelling bad. I decide: 1500m on the treadmill at the gym, then I'll use THEIR shower before heading home to prepare for work.
So I get on the treadmill and am immediately conscious of the fact that these are not the gym's usual clientele. I'm accustomed to shapely, ahem, Eastern European ladies trimming it up on the stair walkers, instead of which I have wiry guys screaming at themselves as they force themselves to sprint finish on the running machine. For example: the guy behind me sounded like he was giving birth to a Land Rover.
Faced with such determined gerbils and not wishing to lose face, I ran off 5km on the treadmill, with my legs reminding me of the previous night's exertions from start to finish. No surrender to the salad dodgers.
I finally got back to the locker room and the shower I'd been waiting for. I flicked on the tap and the water was colder than any water I'd ever willingly splash on my body.
I tampered with the taps to no avail. I pulled my sweaty running shirt back on and went to find the gym's staff...
"Excuse me..."
"Yes?"
"There's no hot water in the shower, only cold."
"Mmmmmmm"
(she nods happily.)
"Well... er...Why?!"
"Every week, Monday is cold shower day."
***
STUDENT: Eh?! Really?!
TEACHER: Nope.
HOWEVER, this week is a special occasion; because I didn't pay the water bill for the last quarter, I have no hot water. I wake up at 8am, smelling bad. I decide: 1500m on the treadmill at the gym, then I'll use THEIR shower before heading home to prepare for work.
So I get on the treadmill and am immediately conscious of the fact that these are not the gym's usual clientele. I'm accustomed to shapely, ahem, Eastern European ladies trimming it up on the stair walkers, instead of which I have wiry guys screaming at themselves as they force themselves to sprint finish on the running machine. For example: the guy behind me sounded like he was giving birth to a Land Rover.
Faced with such determined gerbils and not wishing to lose face, I ran off 5km on the treadmill, with my legs reminding me of the previous night's exertions from start to finish. No surrender to the salad dodgers.
I finally got back to the locker room and the shower I'd been waiting for. I flicked on the tap and the water was colder than any water I'd ever willingly splash on my body.
I tampered with the taps to no avail. I pulled my sweaty running shirt back on and went to find the gym's staff...
"Excuse me..."
"Yes?"
"There's no hot water in the shower, only cold."
"Mmmmmmm"
(she nods happily.)
"Well... er...Why?!"
"Every week, Monday is cold shower day."
***
STUDENT: Eh?! Really?!
TEACHER: Nope.
