Saturday, September 16, 2006
Smile, and the world vomits in your face
Awoke to find the world a dark and angry place, half-blind in the miasma of the previous night's debauchery, not too steady on my feet.
Fortunately, I remembered a reason to be cheerful: my new Gundam razor!
Oh, yes indeed.
You see, readers, I lost my previous razor, which had given me at least four years of faithful service. I will not excite you with the details, suffice it to say that the circumstances were rather scandalous.
Anyway, I saw the beauteous Gundam razor when I was buying my lunch in Vivre and decided I just had to have it.
So, this morning I unpacked it to find a suction cup on the back of the stand for attaching it to the wall. My goodness, I thought, I now finally understand what it means to live in the 21st century.
I marched into the bathroom and jammed the Gundam ensemble onto the wall, to which it clung like Spiderman. Even a sharp tug wasn't enough to dislodge it. I stood back to admire the latest addition to my bathroom, whereupon the suction cup, which had been the very epitome of tenacity just a few brief moments before, detached from the wall, the whole lot fell down, ricocheted off the edge of the sink and landed in the toilet.
I spent a few moments considering whether I had grounds for bringing legal action against anyone, but decided that I probably didn't. I fished the razor and stand out of the toilet and gave them a good rinse.
There are those who would have been downhearted by this experience, but fortunately my outlook is pretty positive at the moment. A wise man once said to me: "every day is the best day of your life" and it's God's own truth.
All this means is that I'm going to be under that little bit of extra pressure not to cut myself shaving.
Fortunately, I remembered a reason to be cheerful: my new Gundam razor!
Oh, yes indeed.
You see, readers, I lost my previous razor, which had given me at least four years of faithful service. I will not excite you with the details, suffice it to say that the circumstances were rather scandalous.
Anyway, I saw the beauteous Gundam razor when I was buying my lunch in Vivre and decided I just had to have it.
So, this morning I unpacked it to find a suction cup on the back of the stand for attaching it to the wall. My goodness, I thought, I now finally understand what it means to live in the 21st century.
I marched into the bathroom and jammed the Gundam ensemble onto the wall, to which it clung like Spiderman. Even a sharp tug wasn't enough to dislodge it. I stood back to admire the latest addition to my bathroom, whereupon the suction cup, which had been the very epitome of tenacity just a few brief moments before, detached from the wall, the whole lot fell down, ricocheted off the edge of the sink and landed in the toilet.
I spent a few moments considering whether I had grounds for bringing legal action against anyone, but decided that I probably didn't. I fished the razor and stand out of the toilet and gave them a good rinse.
There are those who would have been downhearted by this experience, but fortunately my outlook is pretty positive at the moment. A wise man once said to me: "every day is the best day of your life" and it's God's own truth.
All this means is that I'm going to be under that little bit of extra pressure not to cut myself shaving.
