Thursday, September 21, 2006
Chalk and cheese... and cheetahs...
One of the ways my company seeks to defraud budding linguists of their yen is with a monthly magazine replete with badly-researched BS.
Take this example: this month's issue was full of how NOT to identify animals. When I saw the photo of a cheetah which some twitchy knob strangler had saddled with the caption "leopard", I flipped my lid at my Japanese workmate and sent him scurrying for cover.
USEFUL PHRASES
nani kore?!
what's this?!
kore wa cheetah da!
this is a cheetah!
korya cheetah, zettai ni!
it's definitely a cheetah!
kodomo demo cheetah to hyou no soui ga atarimae.
even a child can tell the difference between a cheetah and a leopard.
yurusehen.
unforgivable.
Particularly galling, given that I have devoted a fair bit of classroom time to teaching my students how to tell the difference between a leopard and a jaguar, which is a great deal easier to screw up, let me tell you.
However, as it seems that some people are still in need, and I happen to know this stuff off the top of my head, I hereby present:
SOME SURE-FIRE WAYS TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CHEETAH AND A LEOPARD ALREADY
1. Cheetahs can't roar
2.A cheetah has non-retractable claws.
3. A leopard's "spots" are actually made up of a cluster of smaller spots (try not to get too close when you check this.)
4. A cheetah has big-ass stripes down its face. Theories abound as to why this may be, but a recent scientific study (conducted by me) concludes that it is so that nobody could possibly mistake it for a fucking leopard.
***
A sad coda to this tale of woe is that when I showed the photo in question to the female staff at my school, they invariably blurted out the word "tiger." Something within me died then, something very special, without anyone having ever been aware that it had even lived.
Take this example: this month's issue was full of how NOT to identify animals. When I saw the photo of a cheetah which some twitchy knob strangler had saddled with the caption "leopard", I flipped my lid at my Japanese workmate and sent him scurrying for cover.
USEFUL PHRASES
nani kore?!
what's this?!
kore wa cheetah da!
this is a cheetah!
korya cheetah, zettai ni!
it's definitely a cheetah!
kodomo demo cheetah to hyou no soui ga atarimae.
even a child can tell the difference between a cheetah and a leopard.
yurusehen.
unforgivable.
Particularly galling, given that I have devoted a fair bit of classroom time to teaching my students how to tell the difference between a leopard and a jaguar, which is a great deal easier to screw up, let me tell you.
However, as it seems that some people are still in need, and I happen to know this stuff off the top of my head, I hereby present:
SOME SURE-FIRE WAYS TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CHEETAH AND A LEOPARD ALREADY
1. Cheetahs can't roar
2.A cheetah has non-retractable claws.
3. A leopard's "spots" are actually made up of a cluster of smaller spots (try not to get too close when you check this.)
4. A cheetah has big-ass stripes down its face. Theories abound as to why this may be, but a recent scientific study (conducted by me) concludes that it is so that nobody could possibly mistake it for a fucking leopard.
***
A sad coda to this tale of woe is that when I showed the photo in question to the female staff at my school, they invariably blurted out the word "tiger." Something within me died then, something very special, without anyone having ever been aware that it had even lived.
Comments:
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i believe, cheetah's don't climb trees and don't come in black models. it's like comfusing a GoBot for a Transformer.
--vmm
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--vmm
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