Thursday, September 15, 2005


Still fighting the good fight

Damn, long time since my last post. In case anyone was worried that I might have succumbed to injuries inflicted by tosspots in cheap cars, the good news is that I haven't. So far.

Other news: got a new bike (dubbed "The Executioner"), have not yet signed a new contract with NOVA (been offered, but considering if it's the best move right now), and have a NEW FLATMATE.

The official literature informed us that he was from the United Kingdom, etc, etc and would be spending his first night in the apartment on September the 7th. My worst fears were realised when I got home on the 7th to find this frankly massive geezer with an accent I can only describe as antipodean (being unable to tell Aussie and Kiwi apart) and with the word "rugby" written all over him.

It transpired that Jamie (for Jamie is his name) was born in Scotland, but his family moved to New Zealand when he was 10.

I immediately thought that this didn't bode well for registering him as a foreign resident in Japan and so it proved.

Naniwa ward office, Osaka. Dan and Jamie are one side of the applications counter. On the other side is the INEVITABLE STUPID BITCH, hereafter referred to as ISB.

ISB: Umareta wa Scotto desu ne?

Dan: Hai.

ISB: Demo, juusho wa Nyuu Jiirando desho?

Dan: Hai.

ISB: Scotto no juusho wa arimasu ka?

Dan: Nai desu. Nyuu Jiirando ni sunde itta.

ISB: Demo...

And with that, the conversation pretty much went back to square one. For those not in the know, demo means "but", and the ISB was giving me more "but" than a kamoshika rampaging through a ward full of haemophiliacs and osteoporosis sufferers. The Japanese are always hopeful that if they tut a bit about something and start with a "but" or an "erm", you'll realise your error and not force them to ask you any more questions or give you any unpleasant information. After my previous experience in UFJ, I owed it to myself to get some satisfaction out of this one.

After holding out a bit longer I relented and explained to her that we'd filled in his place of birth as Scotland before putting his address as New Zealand for the totally unthinkable reason that he'd been born in Scotland, but had then moved to New Zealand.

The ISB probably realised at this point that we weren't particularly impressed with her deductive capabilities. She smiled winsomely, which is something I particularly hate as it tends to coincide with crappy service, and informed us that in that case we shouldn't have filled out the address part.

I gave her an extra funny look and told her that in that case she should cross it out. Bam!

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