Saturday, June 18, 2005
How to make droll retorts
This started with my football team, although now it's plaguing other people in my life.
The formula is this:
RETORT = "You're an x," where x is an inoccuous-seeming word from your victim's previous remark.
TEXTBOOK EXAMPLE FROM FOOTBALL GAME:
Wee Bob: Everyone, get back in position!
Dan: You're a position.
As well as destroying my team's morale with these churlish and infantile slurs, I'm not above employing them on my students, as 12-year-old returnee Takaaki found out:
Dan: I don't like that drink- it hurts my teeth.
Taka: That's cavities!
Dan: You're a cavity.
Taka: No I'm not.
(Note for those living outside Japan: a returnee is a student who has lived abroad. Like this little smartarse.)
The formula is this:
RETORT = "You're an x," where x is an inoccuous-seeming word from your victim's previous remark.
TEXTBOOK EXAMPLE FROM FOOTBALL GAME:
Wee Bob: Everyone, get back in position!
Dan: You're a position.
As well as destroying my team's morale with these churlish and infantile slurs, I'm not above employing them on my students, as 12-year-old returnee Takaaki found out:
Dan: I don't like that drink- it hurts my teeth.
Taka: That's cavities!
Dan: You're a cavity.
Taka: No I'm not.
(Note for those living outside Japan: a returnee is a student who has lived abroad. Like this little smartarse.)
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