Saturday, April 02, 2005


Whale Shark letdown, Great White beatdown

A great white shark in captivity for a record six months was released into the Pacific Ocean on Thursday after it attacked and killed two smaller sharks in its tank at the Monterey Bay Aquarium.
Great White Shark Released Off California
Reuters, Fri Apr 1, 2005

DAMN IT! Whoever made the decision to let that thing go should be given their cards forthwith. The whole point of a Great White is that you secretly want it to go mad and start eating the other fish. I bet the kids loved watching that.

Having been to the Osaka Aquarium on a number of occasions, the attraction of watching fish not eating each other is definitely wearing a bit thin. The Pacific Tank would be so much better with a large, angry predator. Who wouldn't cough up their hard-earned yen to watch a rather more motivated Whale Shark jetting round the tank in a bid to avoid being savaged?

And while I'm on the subject, Zoos would benefit from this policy too. Imagine the Lions, Rhinos and Zebras in the same cage: the drama of the plains recreated in the cosy environment of a concrete box; a deadly game of Cat and Mouse, the Lions want to eat the Zebras, but without pissing the Rhinos off, because that would be a very, VERY bad move. Softly, softly, nothing silly; a bit like scrumping, but scrumping for 400kg herbivores, with dangerous hooves.

Better still, the chance to finally lay to rest those unanswered questions: just who would win if a Polar Bear had a fight with a Hippo? There's only one way to find out, and I'm not talking about hopelessly contrived CGI simulations on BBC World either.


Or better yet, the Voice Room, with one angry Vending Machine Man and a hammer, beating the lames into submission, for the nail that sticks out must be hammered in. Hammer time fo' sho'.
Dan's great educational initiatives that were somehow never adopted due to myopic BB sales policy, part I: making the kids run a blindfolded gauntlet of other kids armed with plastic futon beaters during the in-lesson visits.

English is- and should be- painful.
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