Friday, March 11, 2005


Making the right call

So, this is the very 24-esque dream I had last night. It rock'd and I was most disappointed when I woke up to discover that I am not, in fact, a lantern-jawed TV hero, but actually a man with a very severe hangover.

OK, so, the dream...

I was working in a police station and we were on the verge of busting a very dangerous secret society who were planning to annex Japan on behalf of China. (If this seems unlikely to you, shut the hell up. You probably believe everything you see on TV.)

Suddenly, all the guns in the station arsenal went missing. I eventually figured out that half the officers in the station were in the pay of the Chinese terrorists and had stolen them. I figured this out because a bunch of the renegade officers burst in, pointed guns in my face, and took me and the other genuine police persons captive.

Next thing I knew, I was in the back of a CTU-issue SUV on a fast-moving freeway, being driven somewehere by one of the bad guys. Fortunately, the master criminals had put me in the back seat, my hands were untied and no one was watching me. The other captives in the vehicle were, strangely enough, people who'd been in the cells at the police station (it's possible that these people weren't captives, now I think about it- maybe they were being liberated.) One of them, a pretty messed-up looking girl, was continually swallowing pills which, I presumed from her behaviour, were very powerful drugs. The driver had a shotgun. I had a plan.

I grabbed the messed-up girl by the throat and bashed her over the head, forcing her to spit out the pill she was in the act of swallowing. Then, I grabbed the driver from behind, forced the pill into his mouth, wrestled the shotgun from him and ordered him to pull over. When the driver got out of the vehicle, however, I realised it was none other than midfield enforcer and versatile actor Vinnie Jones. He didn't seem too distressed by the fact that I had a shotgun on him, but I was pretty worried. I remembered the scene from Lock, stock and two smoking barrels where Vinnie Jones bashes a guy's head in with a car door, and I had a pretty strong feeling that he was planning to do something similar to me.

Pointing the shotgun at him, I ordered him to get into the boot of the vehicle, instead of which he disdainfully climbed back into the driver's seat and drove off, leaving me standing by the side of the road, looking like a bit of an idiot.

I took a couple of pot shots at the back of the retreating vehicle (can I say it was retreating? I guess it was just carrying on in the same direction), breaking the rear window and endangering several passing motorists. This having been none too successful, I commandeered a police vehicle and gave chase, but, like an amateur, I got myself stuck in the outside lane and realised belatedly that my quarry had taken the previous exit. A true CTU maverick would have swung the vehicle around and headed back in the face of oncoming traffic, but this seemed dangerous and stupid to me so I didn't bother. I was just happy that I wasn't going to be handed over to any terrorists for interrogation and pistol-whipping.

Jack Bauer would have been ashamed of me.

Hi Dan
too much cheese, my son or too many late nights. Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. I did a training event at the Inmarsat Centre in London on Friday and the internet we were promised died at about 11am - just as i needed it - Doh! Reason? launch of a satellite ..see ( that makes a difference in Kings Cross is a mystery to me too!
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