Saturday, March 19, 2005


Beware of Greeks on drugs

Have you ever done something wrong, then hit upon the foolproof idea of covering your tracks by fabricating an excuse so calamitously stupid that people won't be able to believe that you just made it up?

Greek sprinters Costas Kenteris and Katerina Thanou have been cleared of deliberately missing dope tests on the eve of last year's Athens Olympics, the Greek Athletics Federation announced today.
Greek sprinters cleared, The Guardian, Friday March 18, 2005

Lest we forget... (click here.)

I don't want to say anything controversial on this page, but I find it very, very hard to believe that Kenteris and Thanou evaded a succession of doping tests - flying all over the world and racking up more air miles than an octogenarian Arctic Tern in the process - purely by accident.

However, according to the Greek Athletics Federation, this is apparently what happened. And I think the keyword in that name is "Greek."

Other great examples of Greek cunning:

Odysseus: Tell you what, why don't we just build an enormous wooden horse, big enough to contain 50 heavily-armed Greek warriors, leave it outside Troy and bugger off for a day or two? The Trojans will never think that we'd be stupid enough to think that they'd be stupid enough to take the damn thing into their city.

Agamemnon : ...

Odysseus: ...And then they'll, y'know, take it into their city.

Agamemnon : ...

Odysseus: ...With, like, 50 heavily-armed Greek warriors inside.

Agamemnon : Whatever you say, Sean Bean.

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This is nothing to do with the 'roid taking Greeks, but thought you would like to know

Leveraged Buyout
LBO. Takeover of a company or controlling interest in a company, using a significant amount of borrowed money, usually 70% or more of the total purchase price.

SO now we know. Crush...kill...destroy and if all else fails nod your head and smile.
"Dear [Vending Machine Man],
Thank you for teaching English. I'm sorry joking always. You. I like your classes. Sake isn't drunk too much, and it takes care about the gambling and the woman. I hope. I wish your happiness.

Because I didn't value the master, the master doesn't value me. I'm sorry it said many times. The son says that I'm unhappy. Mother is painful. It's me that the son was spoilt. Tears fall soon. "Guard" (one year you are defended) it always asks having it saying that 'then, is it good?' Hope is said. It walks life not regretted. English is taught because it keeps serious. Loved teacher. From ***** [her name misspelled]"

That's what I got from one of my students, the self-proclaimed "gorilla," G-d bless her soul. [The guard is some kind of charm she also gave me.]

And this from everyone's favorite Barbarian, Conan...

Mongol General: Conan, What is Best in Life?

Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!
--VMM challah!
Imagine you had to save the World from imminent apocalypse and to do so you had to decipher the above note. You'd be seriously boned.

For the slightly more *ahem* idiosyncratic students, it's always interesting to imagine what they have going on in their heads. In the case of a certain Beta level hairdresser (easily identified by her comments about people riding carrots,) I suspect it's pink rabbits happily bouncing around a padded cell in straitjackets. They're happy because they neither know nor care that they are, in fact, quite mad. A certain... gnh... Delta level student, on the other hand, (fonder of video games than he is of conversation) gives me the impression that, in his minds eye, the pink rabbits are advancing in a chittering horde across a scorched Earth, pulling down the last of the fugitive humans and devouring them, oblivious to the screams of mothers and children alike.

As for the self-proclaimed gorilla: I reckon that a peek in her head would reveal something funny but alarming. Like clowns smashing mirrors over each other's heads or something.
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