Sunday, February 27, 2005


Another 24 hours

Warning, this post contains language that my mother wasn't too happy about hearing me use at the age of seven.

So, I'm watching 24 season 4 on Mike's computer (the same source that provided me with seasons 1 and 3.) I didn't watch season 2 after the second episode, because Kim Bauer was already being a stupid bitch and getting herself in unnecessary danger which was exactly what she'd been doing for the entirety of the first season and I wasn't prepared to watch her continually flouting the laws of natural selection again.

Anyway, since I started running this blog, I've maintained a policy of "dumbing down" my usually heinous over-usage of bad language, except in the interests of faithfully reporting what was said at the time, or in cases of extremety, such as talking about that French girl in Starbucks.

This, however, is another such case as, having watched two full seasons of 24 and being halfway through a third, I feel it necessary to make the following observation:

Jack Bauer is a twat.

My reasoning is simple: the man cannot follow basic instructions. He just can't. It's almost pathological. Every time someone tells him to do something, he bursts out with "There isn't time!" or "That's not the right call!" or "There are millions of lives at stake here!" usually prefaced with "Listen to me," or similar.

Take the following sample dialogues between Jack and Whoever's In Charge This Season (WICTS)

WICTS: Jack, stand down! I repeat, stand down!
JACK: I'm going in!

Fantastic. Real teamwork there, Bauer. Or...

WICTS: Jack, your shirt's not tucked in, as per CTU dress code. Please could you tuck it in?

WICTS: Jack, satellite surveillance indicates that there's $1,000,000 in unmarked, non-consecutive $5 bills in that briefcase behind you. Why don't you just pick it up?
JACK: There isn't time! Where's the Marine Strike Force?
WICTS: But it's right behind you, for Christ's sake Jack...

I have also come to the conclusion that Jack Bauer was an only child.

Jack's Mum: It's starting to rain sweetie, why don't you come inside?
Wee Jack: Listen to me! You're making a mistake. God damn it!

I hope this post hasn't given away any of the fourth season of 24 for those of you planning to watch it. Other than having covered pretty much every instance of Bauer-related dialogue, that is.

listen to me! There isn't any time! You don't understand Jack! LOLOLOLOL
Love the part about him and his mum. I have missed this season sorry to say-- i avoid the last couple due to Kim as well, they should have killed her off instead of her mother at the lastof the first season!
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