Sunday, January 23, 2005


Blue soul my foot

So, I asked, closing my textbook and relaxing back in my chair as the lesson drew to its conclusion; what's your favourite film?

My student thought deeply upon this, frowning and biting her lip as she did so. Such is her wont, even when faced with less intricate questions. Eventually, looking me directly in the eye, she said Blue soul my tea.

A vague, speculative image formed in my head of some innocent rite-of-passage film about a Japanese schoolgirl: sedate of pace and devoid of ninja action, but nonetheless satisfying to watch.

What's this film about? I asked.

Well, said my student, Jim Carrey meets God...

Another image formed in my head: one of me violently beating my would-be linguist with a leather-bound edition of the pronunciation handbook.

It sure is good for a laugh and a link. Also one of my favorites.
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Is she talking about my page? Is she talking about Bruce Almighty? I don't know. If the former, then arigato gozaimasu; if the latter, oh dear.

Whilst being perfectly happy about someone else slapping their link on my blog apropos of nothing, I would issue the following caution.


Why not?

1. Norma has FIVE blogs. Count them. Five! In fact, while I've been typing this comment, she's probably already opened another two and hard at work on a third. I had enough trouble thinking of the title for one. This woman evidently has no concept of commitment.

2. At least one of these blogs has a hideous Louis Vuitton-style pattern going on in the background.

3. After a cursory examination, I found that not a single one of Norma's blogs makes reference to any of the following: ninjas, Germans trying to be friendly, Paula Radcliffe crying, police beatings, dreams about police beatings, waking up from a dream about police beatings only to find oneself covered in bruises and locked in a police cell, Communist Godzilla movies, Dan being rude to Americans, Dan being rude to Japanese, Dan being rude IN Japanese, Dan just being rude, Bangles albums, the Sega Saturn and/or games relating to said Sega Saturn.

In fairness, I didn't read for that long, so TECHNICALLY, they could all be there, but, making the wild and outrageous assumption that they are not, this seems sufficient reason not to devote your time to reading these pages.

4. I found at least one link to a "Pro-life" group (this means anti-abortion amongst other things, in case you didn't know.) I DO NOT AGREE WITH SUCH GROUPS. If you do, that's your shout. Click away.

Anyway, this random smearing of one's URL onto complete stranger's pages has whetted my appetite for similar tomfoolery. By sundown tomorrow, I expect to have links to my site on the following: a Christopher Reeve fansite, a Satanist's page, a "white rights" site (just kidding Mum- don't disown me), the personal homepage of some pasty middle-American schoolgirl who wears too much makeup and thinks she's a Vampire just because her name starts with an "S", and the information page of the Chad tourism board. The fightback starts here.
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