Sunday, October 24, 2004
And now, apropos of nothing...
...Dan's "Are you a Barbarian Warrior" quiz
1. By which of the following do your enemies know you:
a- The Crimson Blade
b- The silent killer
c- The twat in accounts
2. A horse is:
a- a man's best friend
b- a man's best lover
c- a man's best way of getting from A to B and, thereafter, an inexpensive alternative to kindling
3. Your hobbies are:
a- crosswords, reading and golfing
b- burning, looting and pillaging
c- ballet, pornography and cottaging
4. Conan The Barbarian was:
a- ground-breaking
b- abysmal
c- a romantic comedy
5. Your greatest fear is:
a- being dishonoured before the warriors of your tribe
b- soap
c- both of the above
6. You have a mysterious birthmark shaped like:
a- a strawberry
b- a crown
c- a vase, or maybe two people facing each other; it's very difficult to tell.
7. You are plagued by：
a- a strange feeling, which could even be guilt for your bloodthirsty actions (but probably not.)
b- fleas
c- the plague
8. How many times does the letter "X" appear in your name?
a- 2 or more
b- once
c- none whatsoever
9. Your mother was
a- the slave girl of a nomad chieftain
b- the mistress of an Ealing banker
c- mostly drunk
10. You cannot:
a- roll your "r"s
b- recite your alphabet
c- rub your tummy and pat your head at the same time
Scores:
0-10 points: Ealing banker! The last thing you pillaged was your little sister`s piggy bank, you pitiful suburban weed.
11-20 points: Nova Teacher! Definite barbarian potential, but let down by your tendency to use the word "whatsoever."
21-30 points: Barbarian warrior! You are bathing in the tears of your enemies' widows and orphans.
31 or more points: Uber barbarian warrior! So barbaric that you cannot even do the most basic mathematics and you are NOT bathing in the tears of your enemies' widows, as you have a marked aversion to bathing. As do I.
1. By which of the following do your enemies know you:
a- The Crimson Blade
b- The silent killer
c- The twat in accounts
2. A horse is:
a- a man's best friend
b- a man's best lover
c- a man's best way of getting from A to B and, thereafter, an inexpensive alternative to kindling
3. Your hobbies are:
a- crosswords, reading and golfing
b- burning, looting and pillaging
c- ballet, pornography and cottaging
4. Conan The Barbarian was:
a- ground-breaking
b- abysmal
c- a romantic comedy
5. Your greatest fear is:
a- being dishonoured before the warriors of your tribe
b- soap
c- both of the above
6. You have a mysterious birthmark shaped like:
a- a strawberry
b- a crown
c- a vase, or maybe two people facing each other; it's very difficult to tell.
7. You are plagued by：
a- a strange feeling, which could even be guilt for your bloodthirsty actions (but probably not.)
b- fleas
c- the plague
8. How many times does the letter "X" appear in your name?
a- 2 or more
b- once
c- none whatsoever
9. Your mother was
a- the slave girl of a nomad chieftain
b- the mistress of an Ealing banker
c- mostly drunk
10. You cannot:
a- roll your "r"s
b- recite your alphabet
c- rub your tummy and pat your head at the same time
| ANSWERS: | |||
| 1. | a- 3 points | b- 2 points | c- 0 points |
| 2. | a- 1 point | b- 2 point | c- 3 points |
| 3. | a- 0 points | b- 3 points | c- 1 point |
| 4. | a- 2 points | b- 1 point | c- 3 points |
| 5. | a- 1 point | b- 2 points | c- 3 points |
| 6. | a- 0 points | b- 3 points | c- 0 points |
| 7. | a- 2 points | b- 3 points | c- 3 points |
| 8. | a- 3 points | b- 2 point | c- lose a point for using the word "whatsoever" |
| 9. | a- 3 points | b- 0 points | c- 2 points |
| 10. | a- 0 points | b- 3 point | c- 2 points |
Scores:
0-10 points: Ealing banker! The last thing you pillaged was your little sister`s piggy bank, you pitiful suburban weed.
11-20 points: Nova Teacher! Definite barbarian potential, but let down by your tendency to use the word "whatsoever."
21-30 points: Barbarian warrior! You are bathing in the tears of your enemies' widows and orphans.
31 or more points: Uber barbarian warrior! So barbaric that you cannot even do the most basic mathematics and you are NOT bathing in the tears of your enemies' widows, as you have a marked aversion to bathing. As do I.
Labels: AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION
