Wednesday, March 23, 2005
The enemy within
In the beginning was the problem, and the problem was rage.
The following are things that enrage me:
As you can probably guess, the above are not really groups of people, but specific individuals. Let's move on to social groups before I start naming names...
I seem to encounter these wherever I go. The only coffee shop exempt from this criticism is Starbucks, but they still enrage me with their high prices.
Basically, if you ever have the temerity to step outside your house then you are risking my friendship. This is particularly true of
These lobotomised consumer-whore zombies enrage me most when encountered in
Which, frankly, contain all the worst elements of airports, without the prospect of getting on a plane and flying round the world to see someone who doesn't enrage you. Much.
Other things that enrage me, both physical and metaphysical:
That's all for now, I think I'll get loaded up and go up Shinsaibashi with a shotgun. Note for Brian and Mike: if you read this, do not worry. You guys do not enrage me and I do not intend to murder you in the night. Particularly not you, Brian, as you work nights.
The following are things that enrage me:
- People who can't catch crosses and are worried about the number of black people in England.
- People who fiddle with staples and claim unwarranted preparation time for piss-easy lessons.
- People who think that, just because they're three years old and less then three feet tall, I won't bash them.
As you can probably guess, the above are not really groups of people, but specific individuals. Let's move on to social groups before I start naming names...
- Inept coffee shop staff.
I seem to encounter these wherever I go. The only coffee shop exempt from this criticism is Starbucks, but they still enrage me with their high prices.
- Motorists.
- Cyclists.
- Pedestrians.
Basically, if you ever have the temerity to step outside your house then you are risking my friendship. This is particularly true of
- People who stand still on escalators.
These lobotomised consumer-whore zombies enrage me most when encountered in
- Department stores.
Which, frankly, contain all the worst elements of airports, without the prospect of getting on a plane and flying round the world to see someone who doesn't enrage you. Much.
Other things that enrage me, both physical and metaphysical:
- The God-awful state of my bedroom.
- Alcohol.
- Non-cathartic blog postings on the subject of rage.
That's all for now, I think I'll get loaded up and go up Shinsaibashi with a shotgun. Note for Brian and Mike: if you read this, do not worry. You guys do not enrage me and I do not intend to murder you in the night. Particularly not you, Brian, as you work nights.
